By the time I get things figured out

So last night was part 2 of the whole Low/Wilco experience. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, just different.

First though - Low's set? Fucking brilliant amazing. Doesn't matter that no one was there to hear it.

Nels Cline, Alan Sparhawk, Matt Livingston and Mimi Parker

Why am I so hopped up about this? Motherfucking "Do You Know How To Waltz" with Nels Cline. They haven't played it in Boston since maybe 1996 - before The Curtain Hits The Cast came out, they played it at TT the Bears, announcing it's title as "We Hate South By Southwest And Are Never Going Back Again". After their Northampton sat last Sunday, I thought that maybe they should just play DYKHTW for 45 minutes as their opening set, and that's just about what happened last night. The world's quietest band playing loud - taking full advantage of the PA system at the venue.

I went to the show by myself but ran into my friend Bob who's going to Lollapalooza with me. He was blown away by Low having never heard of them, while I tried to explain that their performance that night was really unique, and that they've never played like that before.

Wilco. You know, after seeing them in a venue the size of a backyard, I really didn't know if I'd like their pavilion show. It was an extremely similar set list - that was hugely disappointing to me, as I had them pegged as a band that would change it up from night to night. What was intimate Sunday was big old rock show last night - lighting in full effect, the intensity that was hinted at Sunday hitting full force last night.

Nels Cline, Jeff Tweedy and Glenn Kotche

Still, it wasn't enough to keep me there through the whole show. Since "Spiders [Kidsmoke]" had closed the main set, I decided to leave before the encores. Wasn't in the mood for crowds anymore, and it was a seriously fucked up crowd too. The joke's on me - I wound up walking in the rain to the silver line, only to be stuck on a bus with a screaming drunk from the show, that a couple of commuters looked like they were ready to take out.

And as I check out Via Chicago, it looks like I missed quite an encore. I thought their curfew was 10:30, so figured it was just going to be one encore [I heard "Heavy Metal Drummer" and "California Stars" on my way to the subway anyway]. I might have considered hanging out if I'd known how much longer they were going to play.

The show was different but equally good. The crowd last night sucked - too many hippies smoking dope and doing their hippie dance. Would I go see Wilco again? THE ANSWER IS I THINK I GOT IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM THIS WEEK.

PS - The Bank of America Pavilion actually isn't as bad a venue as I had thought, as long as you have a seat in section 2.

Jesus, Etc.

You were right about the stars / each one is a setting sun

maybe all i need

is a shot in the arm

Alan, you look so small

Our bodies break / and the blood just spills and spills

and pinpoint where i am

SQL's ass
1995 - 2007

So today I had SQL put down, due to his being allergic to life. I don't really talk much about me here on the inter-net web-log much, but I should wrap all this up somehow.

It was actually 5 years ago this weekend that I got him. In July of 2002 I was drinking every day, all day. This wasn't intentional, I assure you. It kind of crept up on me. One Friday night, after a hard day at work [drinking Jim Beam behind the office building from a bottle stashed in a dumpster], I was walking home past the crazy yard sale lady in Jamaica Plain.

This was a woman who had a yard sale every weekend in the summer. Winter months, the yard was decorated to the nines depending upon the holiday. This night however, was apparently a moving sale, and she had a sign that there was a free cat. I was drunk with a fresh bottle in my backpack, unopened pack of Camel Lights and I said YES! I WOULD LIKE A CAT VERY MUCH! IT WILL SAVE ME AND MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON! MAYBE I WILL EVEN DRINK LESS BECAUSE OF THE CAT [burp]!

The cat ["Tiger"] was nowhere to be found that night [smart cat], however she took my phone number and said she would call me tomorrow when he was all set to go. I gave her my number and went home and got even more drunk, until I passed out. By now I was waking up in the middle of the night to drink, my body would start DT'ing after 4 hours. So I woke up and drank and passed out, as per usual. Then, I woke up and drank until I passed out.

I think the phone woke me up around 11AM. I distinctly remember wondering why the woman on the other end wanted me to come get her cat. I really had no intentions of having a cat. It was a good idea on a Friday night - Saturday morning? Not so much.

If you are drinking around the clock like I was, money starts getting pretty tight. Going through the couch for change was not unusual. Frantically checking out of season clothes pockets for just a fiver so I could get a half-pint happened monthly, especially before payday. Anyway, she said the magic word - that along with supplies and food, she would throw in $20. Which to me equaled a fifth of bourbon and a pack of cigarettes, so I said YES! I THINK I WOULD LIKE A CAT NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT!

I picked up Tiger [who was pretty quickly renamed SQL] and brought him home, before going out to get more Jim Beam. As per usual, I just spent the rest of the weekend drinking and passing out, only now wondering what the hell was wrong with my cat that he wouldn't sit on my lap or sleep in my bed.

I can fast-forward a few months here - I drank, I passed out. SQL wasn't too fond of me, or his litter box, preferring to urinate on my vinyl [NO KITTY THATS A BAD KITTY KITTY]. The truth is, I wasn't really into cleaning his litter box - that took away from drinking time. Additionally, things like dishes, taking out trash, bathing - all were cutting into drinking time.

When I went into detox in October of 2002, I was very worried and needed to make sure that SQL would be taken care of. I asked my old - whatevs Don, and he wasn't really feeling it, what with now living 45 minutes away and all. He got there once and asked a neighbor to do it - I couldn't do that, what with my dramatic exit and all. Plus, I really didn't want any of my neighbors knowing how much I drank - evident by the hundreds of empty Jim Beam bottles littering my entire apartment. Recycling? Yeah - that cuts into drinking time.

It sounds spooky, but I remember SQL coming right onto my lap my first night home. We'll leave that out of the treatment, because if that was a scene in a movie, well, no one would believe it.

A little over a year later SQL got sick for the first time. See - the thing is, you don't really get the healthiest of cats from crazy ladies on the street. He wasn't breathing right, and a trip to the hospital revealed that he had a cyst on his neck that was constricting his breathing. They lanced it [sparing me no graphic, pus-filled detail in the retelling], placed him in a kitty oxygen chamber for a bit [just like Michael Jackson sleeps in. Allegedly.], and all was well for a few months. Then, the itchy and scratchy disease began to set in, starting with an open sore on his neck. I have pictures, and I'm making a pretty conscious decision not to post them here - let's all remember him with nice skin, shall we?

For almost 4 years he lived with being allergic to life. We tried everything - the steroids, the special food - it all stabilized the disease pretty well, but nothing ever got him over the hump, back into health. His attitude was always great - eating, sleeping and pooping without complaint. Especially now that I was in recovery and could do adult things again, like cleaning a litter box, feeding a cat and bathing myself on a regular basis. SQL actually kind of liked it when I rubbed his sore, and slept with me at night, oozing blood and pus onto my bedding. Most people meeting him actually recoiled in horror then immediately turned into veterinarians with advice on how to fix him.

Earlier this year we tried the cortisone shots and food for 3 months. And that was that. Anymore shots and I'd have a diabetic cat scratching himself. The next step, cyclosporine, would have required a financial commitment that I couldn't meet [I'M LYING], and the separation of him from the other cats in my household [that we had already tried doing with the food and it didn't work out] and after 5 years, I was just so tired. His fur was falling out, and a new sore had appeared on his side.

Fuck. All I have to say is that little fucker got an extra five years of life out of me. I had forgotten that today, in the vet's office, as he curled up on my lap and I scratched him. I tried to give him one more "WHO DAT CAT" [in the voice of me imitating Kathy Griffin imitating Little Richard]. I tried to give him one more "WHO IS MY BABY DADDY" [in the voice of me]. I was able to choke out "YOU ARE THE BOY KITTY WHORE OF CHARM SCHOOL", but that's a relatively new one. Mostly I just cried and kicked myself for not taking up friends' offers to come along with me.

You would think after being sober for almost 5 years I'd have learned I'm human, that I can't do everything by myself, that I can't fix Feline eosinophilic granuloma. Fuck this shit. Luckily, I had some anonymous program of recovery plans tonight. I'm off to Wilco again tomorrow. Indian casino gambling with my parents this weekend. Polyphonic Spree Monday. Life's already moved on and SQL's been in heaven now about 2 hours.

SQL on the porch

The boy kitty whore of charm school. Sympathy goes in that link up top labeled "Comments".

And I'm trying to understand myself

So last Sunday was the big alternative pop/rock show out in Northampton. Wilco and Low played at the Pines Theater, which is about the size of my backyard growing up in New Hampshire. So it was pretty sweet.

Alan Sparhawk, Matt Livingston

Low's never really done well as an opening act, and tonight was no exception. When I saw them open for Swans in 1997, people actually yelled out "You suck", and while no one at Wilco yelled it, I heard it murmured pretty loudly. They certainly don't take the easy road of playing their 45 minutes worth of their pop - opener "Canada" held the crowd's attention, but the rest of the set was just too quiet for the crowd. Nice close ["Pissing" into "When I Go Deaf" into "Murderer"], and the only real disappointment for me was the lack of "Breaker".

Mimi Parker

Wilco were great. I had never seen them and I certainly couldn't have asked for a better setting to break that particular cherry. Jeff looked a little rough around the edges at the start, but about 3 or 4 songs in he warmed up real nice.

Jeff Tweedy

Can I tell you a secret? Jeff Tweedy's got a great ass.

Jeff Tweedy

So by the time he got to the good songs I was in the palm of his hand. "I Am Trying to Break Your Heart" kicked in, and it was just so beautiful. "Kamera", then the drugged out pair "Handshake Drugs" and "A Shot in the Arm" - all amazing.

Jeff Tweedy

Something I learned at Coachella last year was just how watching a band play as the sun sets can just etch a memory into your brain. Sigur Ros did it for me with Untitled 8, and now Wilco with Impossible Germany. Also, that dude Nels Cline? Freaking amazing. For reals - I'm totally not one to worship guitarists, focusing in on the singers, but Nels is God.

Nels Cline

The show closed with "Hummingbird", including a dancing into the crowd Jeff Tweedy [I was too busy dancing with him to get a picture]. The first encore opened with a beautiful "On and On and On" - my favorite track on the new record that I totally didn't expect live [I hadn't seen it in any of the setlists][just checked the message boards and apparently it is a rarity on this tour]. "Poor Places" noise right into "Spiders [Kidsmoke]" for 12 minutes. I should have blown off the second encore and left then to beat the traffic, but just couldn't. Luckily, it only took about half an hour to get out.

Last Friday I broke down and bought a ticket for the Bank of America Pavillion show this Thursday [they've been slowly releasing seats, and I lucked into a center row P]. I really wish I hadn't. There's no way either act will top last Sunday's show. Impossible. The only thing I'll gain by going is access to the merchandise tables that I somehow missed.

Poor Places

I really want to see you tonight.


I dreamed about killing you again last night




Well I'm cruel


Take Your Time

Hells yeah

I'm the man who loves you.

The truth is it's myself

Of course, the last thing I need to do before vacation is get that reading list set:

If I Did It. [you're welcome]

I just printed it out. I hear it's a murder mystery with a shocking twist ending.

Remember that scene in Stand By Me, the one that totally freaked you out and gave you nightmares? You vowed never to swim in fresh water again?

Brownnose bloodsucker How is that physically even possible? I know, right?


Yo, did you know I was on vacation next week? Word, I got mad plans.

Saturday, I'm going out to Northampton to spend the night with a knitting lesbian. It sounds random, but I assure you it's not. Sunday I'm going to the big Low/Wilco show out there. I think it will be a long day, what with the general admission venue, and me pushing and fighting all the mellow folks out of the way to get to the front.

Tuesday, I'm getting at least one, and possibly a second addition to the tattoo family [gallery needs updating, too. I'm like 3 or 4 behind].

Thursday there's another Wilco show. I don't have tickets for it, but I'm planning on hanging out at the venue's box office, hoping they release some good seats last minute. Really, I'm not a fan of that Bank of America pavilion, what with it's 0% rake and non-existent sight lines.

In between there should be lots of sleeping late and eating poorly. No sunshine after last week's sunburn disaster. And a whole freaking week of no asinine questions.

In other music news, it looks like the "TBA" slot on Sunday's Lollapalooza schedule might have been announced as The Go Team!, which is A++ in my book. It completes my day. Wait, it's already been proven false.

ANYWAY, I don't need any specific help with my Sunday scheduling. I'll get there early for Juliette and the Licks, only because that had got to equal train wreck. There's a little bit of time then before Lupe Fiasco [will Kanye guest? WHO CAN SAY] plays, at the same time as Smoosh, Amy Winehouse and The Black Angels. Nice. Then Iggy [please don't play new stuff] and the Stooges appear nicely without conflict, like an oasis. Our second Sophie's choice is Yo La Tengo [wow, that's some classic ugly myspace!] at the same time as !!! and Peter Bjorn and John. Why is it every B-list act I wanted to check out is playing the same day, at the same time?

The night ends for me with Modest Mouse, then some TV on the Radio. But what about the headliners of this three day extravaganza?

Should I stick around for Pearl Jam
As if
Pearl Jam suck
Free polls from

The point of the story is in August I'm going to Chicago for three days to see a ton of OK bands, and a few really good ones.

Do you live in the Boston area? Then let me be your guest. It takes 2 seconds to enter this Wilco contest and if you win, I can go with you. I know I'm already seeing them in Northampton, but I wouldn't turn down checking out the soundcheck for Boston. I guess I'm just greedy.

In other music news, did you see The 4400 last night? Not only did TV on the Radio get soundtrack placement, they got a shout out in the script ["TV on the Radio is your new favorite band. You worship them"]. However, we hate USA for running their programming off by a minute to screw with recorders. So juvenile.

In other music news - the new Shellac long player = STAR STAR STAR STAR STAR. That's 5 stars. Out of five. I didn't even know I liked Shellac! I do like that Fugazi/Helmet post-hardcore sound, so it only makes sense.

What is WRONG with me that I'm only learning of this today?

"`I swear that I don't have a gun' — I mean, what's the meaning of that?" Goldman gripes, quoting Nirvana.
Must. See. Perform. Now.

If you can stand it, if you can believe it - my face looks EVEN WORSE from Sunday's sunburn. I need to note here that the temperature couldn't have been anymore than 65 degrees out there - it didn't trigger the "I need sunscreen" fight or flight response in me at all.

Fist Kisses

Like I said, even BETTER than Daddy's fist kisses. He treats me real good.

So last night was the big Psychic TV show at the Paradise. I was pretty excited about it, I didn't ever think I'd see them live. Combined with last week's Skinny Puppy show, IT IS THE WEEK OF OLD SKOOL INDUSTRIAL!!!

Doors were at 7, show at 8, so Eric and I got there for 8 figuring we'd catch some of the opening act, and of course the doors weren't even open yet. When we did finally get in, the balcony was closed and we wound up standing near the back away from the 'crowd'.

Can I tell you how sad it was that this show had such a small turnout? Really, with the balcony closed, the club was still barely half full. Go school yourself in some Psychic TV. I can wait.

Both Eric and I can be freak magnets sometimes, and of course a group of 5 party-jocks come and stand right in front of us. I placed odds one of them was going to shout "Show us your tits" to opener Marissa Nadler [pretty dull]. Upon later reflection, I think they were there for the whole "chicks with dicks" factor the evening had. Plus, they were more like Sweathogs as opposed to party-jocks.

We moved to the other side of the club during the break, positioning us directly under an air conditioning vent, which really wasn't necessary. When Psychic TV finally came on, well - the whole thing just felt really old and kind of sad. They were poorly lit [that's why there's no pictures] and you couldn't see any of the video behind them. From what I could gather it was the usual - images of Christ and graphic gender re-assignment surgeries. You know, they looked pretty good in their matching outfits, and sounded pretty good, but being sober - I just wasn't on the same astral plane as the rest of the room. Bands like Spiritualized, Low or Mogwai do an excellent job of creating a drugged-like sensation in the listener when they play live, where PTV were merely on drugs creating music for people on drugs.

After about an hour, Eric wanted to leave, and I did too. My eyes and skin were burning from the air conditioning, and it just wasn't the freak show I was hoping it would be. Basically, it was kind of like watching an over-the-hill Hedwig. Sad, I know. Admittedly I did have really high hopes for the show, and they came nowhere near fulfilling my expectations. Would I go see Psychic TV again? THE ANSWER IS MORE THAN LIKELY NOT!

However, I did get my first "Missed Connection" out of it.

Man shot to the moon

Last Sunday I went to Spectacle Island with my homies.

Spectacle Island

Spectacle Island is named that because it used to look like a pair of glasses, not because it makes an ass out of itself. To get there, we took a ferry past Deer Island. Deer Island is where all of Boston's poop goes, and always reminds me of the eggs from the movie Alien.

Deer Island

When we decided to put our highway underneath the city, all the land we dug up was put on Spectacle Island. It's almost 2 miles to the top, but there's a nice view when you get there.

Spectacle Island

Additionally, when we got to the top, we found there was more to climb.

Spectacle Island

Oh my God. OH MY GOD! Really now! I know, right? I purchased a new camera a few weeks ago, and it can zoom in pretty good.

Spectacle Island

Really, we couldn't believe what we were seeing. I mean, you see it too, right? We didn't just mass hallucinate it?

Anyway, a good time was had by all except me because I got sunburned and blistered, word.

Spectacle Island

Obviously, I've grown tired of the questions. Taking a page from Amy Sedaris, I'm now tellin' people he loves me. I'm tellin' people his fist-kisses are just like daddy's used to be.

Try, try, try try

For Saturday's Lollapalooza I get to sleep in a bit, as there's nothing I know of until Fields at 12:30. Then? Another 3 and a half hour dead zone, and another poll so you can help me through it:

What bands do I check out during Saturday's dead zone?
Pete Yorn
Tapes 'n Tapes
Kevin Michael
Sam Roberts Band
Stephen Marley
Lady GaGa
STS9 (Sound Tribe Sector 9)
Motion City Soundtrack
Cold War Kids
Cage the Elephant
Free polls from

Right now I'm partial to Tapes 'n Tapes, and Cold War Kids.

CSS ["Tired of being sexy"] comes on at 5, then Yeah Yeah Yeahs at 6:30.

Hey, was Show Your Bones just a typical sophomore slump for them? It was the most unremarkable record - I've listened to it twice and I don't care at all about it. Apparently, they have a new one later this summer - here's betting that they will kick some ass again.

Interpol finishes up the day. Saturday really is kind of weak, especially for me since I'm not a Patti Smith or a Spoon fan (acts playing before Interpol). I think Saturday's goal is going to see how close I can get to the stage for CSS. Saturday's goal will be chilling out and feeling the vibe. OK, Saturday's goal is less rocking and more stalking, word.

I caught the season premiere of Big Love on HBO last night [it was OK - I loves me some Nicki, word]. With my level of cable, one free pay channel package is included, but I almost never watch it. I can switch whenever, and it looks like whenever has arrived.

Balls! Last summer, I was pretty disappointed in the live feeds for a few reasons, one of which is mentioned in the linked article:

...allowing those who stare at tiny windows on their computers for three months to get a three-hour-a-day break...
So here's to watching my DVR fill up three hours at a time.

[In the middle of writing all that, I went to go find pictures of Nicki resulting in me playing the Big Love Board Game online for 20 minutes, which proceeded to crash my browser and then the whole PC.

I love Nicki because we could go compulsive shopping together AND manipulate people in the same afternoon.]

So the big news for today [it's pre-empting something else in my life, I assure you] is that Lollapalooza released the schedule of acts. Sunday turned out to be a real Sophie's Choice, and I could use some advice on all three days, actually.

Friday starts out easy, with Elvis Perkins in Dearland starting things off. He came up on the iPod recently and I liked it. Additionally, he's on TV tomorrow night. From there it's off to Colour Revolt, who I discovered a few weeks ago as my new favorite band.

I then enter an almost 4 hour dead period - I'd like to check out The Polyphonic Spree, but other than that, is there anything I must see?

Bands I should check out on Friday Afternoon
Bang Bang Bang
Charlie Musselwhite
Viva Voce
Jack's Mannequin
The Polyphonic Spree
Slightly Stoopid
Electric Six
Against Me!
Inward Eye
Free polls from

The evening starts off with Blonde Redhead - Dumbek and I were chatting about not having enough time to listen to new music, and Blonde Redhead is the perfect example of this for me - I heard the title track from 23 and fell completely in love with it, bought the record weeks - no, months ago now - and have yet to listen to it. After that is LCD Soundsystem [best splash page ever], who will be finishing up just as Daft Punk starts ON A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STAGE. That's just a dance-punk crime.

Saturday? I think that's another post for another day.

Started hearing voices sometime in June

So Thursday night was the big industrial show over at Avalon. Skinny Puppy played with White Mice and Otto Von Schirach.

In 1986 I was a sophomore in high school when their second LP Mind: The Perpetual Intercourse was released. The big rumor then was that the lead singer actually came out on stage and performed in a straight jacket. 21 years later, the performance art aspect of their live show is still running strong. Nivek Ogre spent the first 3 or 4 songs shadow-dancing behind a scrim, with everything from fancy headdresses to a rosary. When he finally emerged his arms were coated in stage blood and his body was wrapped in wires - looking something like if the Unabomber had been assimilated by the Borg.

And so it went - strobe lights, images of Jesus and war projected on screens, pulsing industrial rhythms. Admittedly, I haven't heard anything by them since 1992's Last Rights so much of the material was an average sounding sludge to me. I couldn't help but wonder why in their 23 year off and on career they've never achieved the same commercial success as Nine Inch Nails or Marilyn Manson, and it all made sense when they played Worlock, from 1989's LP Rabies. It's the closest thing they've ever come to writing a radio-friendly anthem that radio wasn't ready for back then.

The big song of the night for me was 1986's Dig It. The set list didn't seem to reach into their back catalog very much. Rabies and Vivisect VI were represented well, and while I went into the show hoping for some nice oldies, well - if you're coughing up [stage] blood on stage, you kind of have my attention no matter what you're playing.

The crowd was all super-goth. I don't do the fashion thing and kind of stood out in the crowd but you know? Goth kids are really nice. Strangers never come up and talk to you at indie rock shows, but it happened a few times and I met some nice people. Otto Von Schirach was electroclash, and I still hate electroclash. White Mice were half-way there - almost like Animal Collective in their loops and noise [and costumes], but lost me with the stereotypical death-metal vocal.


Industrial as fuck

Nivek Ogre, originally uploaded by data jockey.

With time, time, time

The song for how I feel today is Undertow by Lush. Will I have time today to tell you all about the Skinny Puppy show last night? THE ANSWER IS PROBABLY NOT.

Industrial as fuck

Today's song is You Have Cum [...] by Palace Music.

Last night I watched the premiere of My Life on the D-List, and my reaction was slightly different and much more defined than in previous seasons. I think her attitude works great for her act, but it was always a little weird to see how it carried over into her real life, well, real life in front of the camera, I suppose. Kind of makes me think that she really isn't a nice person in real life. However I could have just died when she was talking about Matt during her interview.

No clip, no transcript? INTERNET! WHAT ARE YOU GOOD FOR TODAY!

The point of this story totally isn't her anyway. A few months ago I was arguing with my roommate about how I'm not an attractive guy, how ever since my first stab at dating at 19 I've been a "Rhoda" - the sidekick, the best friend, it's not you it's me, people like me, but never like me. I can accept that role in life, I should be used to it by now. But lately I've just been really depressed and lonely for a variety of valid reasons. Fueled by craps winnings and internet buzz, a few weeks ago I took that leap into, the gay-friendly eHarmony. Can I tell you something?


Finding you that special someone with that something special, takes time. We are currently seeking these potential partners for you. Please check back with us soon.

I took all the tests, answered all the questions, wrote the essay, uploaded the pictures. I had my 5 free matches [NO THANK YOU], then maybe 10 more after that [I finally expressed interest in the last 2, but it wasn't mutual so nothing further happened], and now, for the past week and a half it's just the same old story. No one for you today, check back tomorrow. I almost feel like a chump for giving them money. Of course, I'm too ashamed to call up and try and cancel the account and get my money back, explaining to some call center worker on the other side of the world that nobody likes me.

But hey, that's not the point of the story either - what this really comes down to is after years of ranting against Pride activities, I told a friend I may actually show up this year. I know! The only reason that I can think of as to why I said that out loud is I do feel better when I'm out connecting with people. And let's face it, sitting on the couch in my underwear and watching TV just isn't cutting it anymore.

Even at it's worst, it'll be an awesome photo opportunity.

So one of those Cal Robbins benefit things has finally hit Boston. Actually, Saturday's line up is pretty amazing.

  • I saw Drew O'Doherty last winter open for Mark Eitzel, bought the record, and he's a second coming of Richard Buckner with better hair.
  • And The Secret Stars? I don't claim to know their deal, but I thought they had broken up [not even a Wiki].
  • I'm pretty sure Mark Robinson [Unrest] lives around here now, and doesn't play out nearly as much as he should.
  • Headlining is Ida, who I haven't seen in ages.

So all should be perfect, right?

Does anyone else think it's weird that we're raising money for an individual and not a cause? It's been freaking me out for months now. I mean, I work with someone who's kid is also affected by this disease, and no indie bands are reuniting and putting compilations together to give her money to help pay for everything insurance doesn't cover. OK!OK! I'm trying not to be bitter, I'm glad SMA awareness has been raised among the indie kids, I'm trying to look forward to a larger picture where these events start benefiting the whole instead of the individual.

That said, I'm totally going. I'm leaving my attitude at home that evening. I'm gonna get sadcore cause it's a totally righteous bill.

[that's not about you Cal, it's about me]

The song about today is Aimee Mann's Save Me.

That you can't see air or time

I'm pretty busy this week, all night and day. The song for yesterday? Radiohead's Everything In It's Right Place. Today's song is Lori Carson's Something's Got Me.

I was thinking maybe someday I might like to write about myself here.

So last night was the big movie screening that was part of MIT's List Visual Arts Center. Hell House, again tied in with the Cameron Jamie exhibit. You know, I still feel a little ill.

I spent most of the film with 2 thoughts. First, it was upsetting me much more than Jesus Camp did [my Jesus Camp review was lost in the great web-log crash of April 2007]. Much of what is depicted in Jesus Camp doesn't affect me directly - I'm certainly never going to find myself at one, or find myself sending a child to one to be brainwashed. Hell House was hitting a little closer to home - I even said to Bill at one point, "We simply MUST go to one of these". I'd totally go to one expecting camp, and probably have some kind of nerve attack. Here's your Hell House definition.

Additionally, I found myself actually empathizing with some of the people in the film. One girl talked about the year she played the "suicide girl", and during one performance looked out into the audience and spotted the man who had raped her two years earlier. Her reaction? She was finally able to forgive him and move on with her life. I'm down with that - I mean, how enlightened is that from a teenager being raised in a fundamentalist Christian religion? Especially one who's a part of a yearly performance art [there, I said it] piece where one of the underlying messages is rape is the victim's fault?

My second thought was how I didn't expect the Hell House to be so graphic. The whole film made me feel sick to my stomach, from the subject matter to the unfortunate camera work - too many quick pans and sudden re-focusing.

What made it tolerable and not just shock and awe was that there was some humor in the film [unlike Jesus Camp, which just gave me nightmares]. All aspects of the "rave scene" were white hot gold. The whole movie was chock full of sound bites worth ripping for ring tones.

Room number 9 is a funeral scene of a teenage homosexual boy who has died of AIDS he caught from the ink on the book report graded by his pedophile homosexual Secular-History teacher.
God Bless Landover Baptist.

Anyway, that was one of the last public events over at the LVAC until next fall. Would I go to some of them after the summer break? THE ANSWER IS DEFINITELY.