And round, and round it shouldn't have been anyway

I've been busy again at work this week, plus, I really want to introduce you to my new friends Michael and Vicki, but I'm not sure how. ANYWAY, remember how I went to an open casting call for Big Brother 9 last December? No? It's because I didn't write about it for fear it would hurt my chances.

It was partially exactly what I expected, and partially eye opening. What did I expect? To be glanced at and told "No thanks". What I got was glanced at, and they actually had the common decency to chat with me for 3 minutes before passing. And the suggestion that I might have better luck sending in a video and application direct to CBS.

What I didn't expect was the 90 minute wait that was really kind of uncomfortable, and made me re-evaluate the whole "I can be on Big Brother because I can sit around and be catty with the best of them" life goal. I mean, if I'm weirded out by standing in line and making small talk with strangers for an hour, there's no way I'm lasting in that house. Or any kind of endurance challenge.

Anyway, there were some really freaky disillusioned people there. People who had driven in from other states, and people on day pass from group homes. Here are the new contestants. At the casting call the Mary-In-Charge had a mouth on her that was just looking to get smacked - I prefer the Kathy Griffin approach of talking smack about strangers behind their back, or at least on the internet.

This year there's a whole Love Match theme or WHATEVER. I have three things to say about that before I call Comcast to order Showtime for Big Brother: After Dark.

1. Homo:

There's nine men and seven women so two of them have to be gay, right? My first vote is for Homeless James.

2. James! I think this is probably your love match!

3. If everyone has a love match, then what about this season's sole 45 year old? If last season was the SUMMER OF GONORRHEA, this time, it is THE WINTER OF THE COUGAR:

It also seals it. 2008 is the Year of the Cougar. They are finally WHITE HOT and coming into their own. RAWR!


  1. Michael said...
    OMG, Keith, your gaydar blows.

    Mine, too, but I batted .500 anyway. I knew deep v-neck t was in my tribe.

    I thought paparazzo was going to be the stupidest occupation, until I saw bikini barista.
    keith said...
    I know, right? I'll follow through tomorrow with some of the good stuff I dug up today though. Let's say I'm actually 25% right...

    And I cannot handle another season of the v-neck.

Post a Comment