The Dead Part of You

So the indie-rock make-out song from the weekend was Interstate by Pell Mell. The indie-rock make-out songs are derived using a rather complex algorithm, involving streetlights, the SHUFFLE SONGS feature from an iPod, my car and a boy. If they were based on actual events, it could have been "A Muzzle of Bees" by Wilco. Or maybe "Beestung" by Kristin Hersh. "Chasing a Bee" by Mercury Rev? No - "Evil Bee" by Menomena.

So last Saturday Rob brought me to a party where all of his friends would be. Which you think would freak me out but it totally didn't - actually, was kind of like being in a Douglas Coupland novel, maybe "Girlfriend in a Coma"? Or maybe I just feel like I've been living a Coupland novel lately since I've been re-reading jPod. ANYWAY, it wouldn't be a birthday party without badminton, I know, right? So while running around all faggy after the shuttlecock with the baby racket, I apparently upset a nest of yellowjackets.

Oh, I've already changed the ringtone, I assure you.

After all of the flailing and shrieking was over, Rob and I each got stung 6 times [I'm STILL itchy and scratchy today]. After the adrenaline rush and the application of baking soda all was pretty much back to normal. It is totally how you want to meet all the friends of someone you are dating.

For my next dating disaster [I didn't mention THE BOWLING INCIDENT from two weeks ago, it was way too shameful] I'm thinking I need to pull out all the stops if I'm going to top bees. I'm thinking amusement park disaster [stop reading and go now - AWESOME], I'm thinking Godzilla v Mothra, I'm thinking something along the lines of bringing the country to DEFCON 1.