So last night was the big ALTERNATIVE ROCK [TM] show down at the Orpheum Theater - MIRACLE ON TREMONT STREET it was called, brought to you by the good folks at WFNX.
Can I back this up a bit? About two months ago Cold War Kids announced a headlining show at The Roxy, both Rob and I were pretty excited about it. Tickets never went on sale, and the gig wound up being lumped into this ALTERNATIVE RADIO event. I didn't really want to go, but we got tickets anyway, figuring how painful could it be.
We got there in time for Mute Math, who apparently have some kind of crossover hit - and by crossover I mean from ALTERNATIVE ROCK RADIO to like contemporary Christian. And to be truthful, their first three songs sucked. I mean sucked real hard. But you know - the last two songs they did were damn good, actually. Real noisy, post-rock...MUTE MATH! YOU HAVE RECEIVED A "C" GRADE FOR YOUR PERFORMANCE!!!
Against Me! played next, and it was the most generic punk rock you ever heard. Actually, I've heard better in pretty much any bar basement on a Friday night. However to keep myself entertained, I thought about how it would be so much better if they played naked. And had butt sex on stage with each other instead of playing music at all.
When Cold War Kids started up, out of nowhere these two really skanky girls appeared right in front of us and started dancing and hitting on everyone around them. These were some real "girls with low self esteem". And you know? Cold War Kids really isn't the soundtrack for that kind of behavior. Cold War Kids is actually much sleazier - and they totally brought it last night. The whole blue eyed white boy soul? Worked it fierce. The two new songs were great, almost spaghetti-westernish. Once the distracting skanks moved on, the show was great. Thirty five minutes was not nearly enough.
Spoon? Meh. I was SO tired and SO hungry and SO cranky by then [it was 9:45 and I hadn't eaten since lunch] I just wanted to leave. Rob convinced me to check out a few songs, and after 4 or so we just left. The songs were good, but Spoon had zero stage presence. If I was into their records, I'm sure I would have thought it was a great show, but not knowing any of the songs, seeing them live wasn't the best introduction. Will I check out a Spoon record though? THE ANSWER IS YES, IF IT IS REALLY CHEAP USED OR SOMEONE JUST GIVES IT TO ME!!
So the point of the story is I really wish Cold War Kids had just kept their headlining date instead of getting thrown into this corporate radio mash of mostly crap. Also, I need to remember to eat dinner - it might make me feel better about these things.
I'd pretty much planned on spending Saturday afternoon at Lollapalooza at the Citi stage, for Aqueduct, Cold War Kids and CSS. I got there in time to grab a plate of food, including but not limited to Chicken on a Stick, and sat down on the grass for most of Aqueduct's set.
They were OK - I'm a complete sucker for the catchy "Living a Lie", but other than that there wasn't much to even motivate me to get up off the grass. Except for the incoming crowds for Cold War Kids.
I missed the boat and was pretty far back for them. However, I did get a spot that allowed me to lean up against a lamp post. Before they came on we got the bad news - there was a "schedule change". Due to the fact the CSS missed a flight they wouldn't be performing [FUCK], however the "good" news was that Matt and Kim would do another set [AS IF].
Somehow I still managed to enjoy Cold War Kids's set - throughout most of it I kept thinking "Is this emo?" or "Are they just ripping off Death Cab For Cutie?" however by the end, I realized what had been going on. Cold War Kids ARE the second coming of whiteboy soul pioneers Afghan Whigs. They were that good. Even Beatle Bob was there.
Cold War Kids - you were the SECOND BEST THING I saw on Saturday! You were the FIFTH BEST THING I saw all weekend!
So with the absence of CSS, my schedule had opened up a bit. Instead of trying to cram something in I decided to just take it easy for a bit. I sat down on the grass off to the side for most of Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! and I realized they pretty much just give me a headache nowadays, and I'm not really sure what I ever saw in them other than being swept up in a wave of hype.
However, with the rest and lack of sun all day I decided I had the energy to check out the Yeah Yeah Yeahs up close. I spent the next hour moving forward through the crowds [The Hold Steady played across the field - I didn't hear anything worth turning around for].
At 6:30 Perry Farrell came out to embarrass himself some more by giving them this stupid introduction, like he personally was responsible for driving their bus here.
As unimpressive as they were last Saturday at the Tweeter Center, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs owned Lollapalooza Saturday. All the crazy cutting girls around me went nuts for Karen O. All the young dudes started crowd surfing for Karen O. If you had told me that this would be the roughest set of the weekend I would have laughed, but everyone around me went nuts for the next hour and I couldn't help but be swept along. The new stuff sounded great, they made the effort to play older tracks. Yeah, they kind of owe their career to Siouxsie and the Banshees, but who cares - they do it so well. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - you were the BEST THING I saw all day! You were the FOURTH BEST THING I saw all weekend!
Yo - I'm warning you know this chapter is going to end on a disturbing note. When YYYs were done I had an hour to make my way completely to the other side of Grant Park for Interpol. Luckily it only took about half an hour. However at 8 the skies opened up and it started raining - it wasn't awful, no one was throwing mud at me or anything, but still. I somehow missed out on all of the corporate rain poncho giveaways and was left with just an umbrella, and 30 minutes of Patti Smith's set. I was meeting Bob right after her before Interpol.
I hate Patti Smith. There, I said it. I even watched her set with an open mind, but now I think I actually hate her more. She's just so preachy and ridiculous. You know, if she would have just shut up between songs it might have been tolerable. But then her dramatic interpretation of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" goes and just ruins everything.
I understand her cultural influence on an intellectual level, I get it. Without her there would be no Siouxsie and the Banshees or Yeah Yeah Yeahs. She's a godmother, whatever lady, just stop screaming "nigger" at me, it's OLD.
I know I know, I'll drop the hate. Bob and everyone around me loved her set and we were off in the rain to see what Interpol were going to do.
[to be continued]